It's common to hear an alcoholic say, "The only reason I drink is because you Don't buy into it. If your loved one is truly an alcoholic, they are going to drink no matter what you do or say. It's not your fault. They have become dependent on alcohol, and nothing is going to get between them and their drug of choice. When alcoholics promise they will never drink again, but a short time later are back to drinking as much as always, it is easy for family members to take the broken promises and lies personally.
You may tend to think, "If she really loves me, she wouldn't lie to me. But if they have become truly addicted to alcohol, their brain chemistry may have changed to the point that they are completely surprised by some of the choices they make.
They may not be in control of their own decision making. Many family members of alcoholics naturally try everything they can think of to get their loved one to stop drinking. Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving the alcoholic's family members feeling lonely and frustrated.
You may tell yourself that surely there is something that you can do. But the reality is that not even alcoholics can control their drinking, try as they may. Even knowing that, you may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis. In reality, that is usually the time when the family should do nothing. When a person with a substance use problem reaches a crisis point, sometimes that's the time the person finally admits they have a problem and begins to reach out for help.
If friends or family members rush in and "rescue" the person from the crisis situation, it can delay the decision to get help. For those who love someone living with an addiction, it is very difficult to sit back a let the crisis play out to its fullest extent.
When someone you love reaches the point in their substance use when they get a DUI, lose their job, or get thrown in jail, it can be a difficult concept to accept that the best thing you can do in the situation is to do nothing. It may seem like it goes against everything you believe. Unfortunately, this causes the cycle to repeat You don't have to create a crisis, but learning detachment will help you allow a crisis—one that may be the only way to create change—to happen.
Make no mistake about it, alcoholism and alcohol dependence are primary, chronic, and progressive diseases that sometimes can be fatal.
You are not a healthcare professional, and even if you are, you should not carry the responsibility for treating friends or family members. You are not a trained substance-abuse counselor, and again, even if you are, your role should not be a counselor. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again.
That's their responsibility, not yours. You can't cure a disease. No matter what your background happens to be, you need outside help. Alcoholics usually go through a few stages before they are ready to make a change.
Until an alcoholic begins to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to "help" them quit will often be met with resistance. Even though it is not your responsibility to "cure" your loved one's alcoholism, you may be interested in knowing some of the things that make drinkers want to stop , as well as some of the things which get in the way of an alcoholic getting sober.
You may wish to consider a family intervention. Before looking into ways of staging an intervention, take a moment to read further about how to care for yourself—not only for yourself but because it's often the only way a person with an addiction will get the help they need. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. There is a joke in recovery circles about an alcoholic in denial who screams, "I don't have a problem, so don't tell anyone!
If family members try to "help" enable the alcoholic by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into the alcoholic's denial game. Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is the best approach.
Most alcoholics have developed this chemical imbalance. Their constant drinking lessens their ability to process and reason but also makes them feel good.
As a result, they continue to drink. Most alcoholics drink to satisfy cravings and avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Once the brain becomes accustomed to the presence of alcohol, the mind believes it needs alcohol to feel pleasure, prompting a compulsive urge, or craving, to drink.
Alcohol withdrawal symptoms can vary, but some of the most common include irritability, depression, sweating, mood swings, headaches, tremors, nightmares, mood swings, anxiety, nausea, cravings for alcohol, and vomiting. More severe withdrawal symptoms can include fever, seizures, high blood pressure, and hallucinations. Typically, alcoholics drink and continue to drink to avoid these unpleasant symptoms. A lot of alcoholics drink because they want to feel good and escape unpleasantness. According to reports published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 37 percent of alcohol abuse have at least one serious mental illness.
Approximately 50 percent of people living with mental health conditions use addictive substances like drugs and alcohol. Alcoholics who drink as a form of self-medication might:. Alcoholics who self-medicate also drink to experience and enhance pleasure.
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Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. Moderation Management. Seeking Healthy Alternatives. What Is Moderate Drinking? Common Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms. Effective Alcoholism Treatments. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Related Articles. What Is a Standard Drink? For some people, alcohol abuse and alcoholism results from psychological or social factors. They may drink to calm down or loosen up in social settings. Others use alcohol to cope with psychological issues or stress in their daily lives. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism may also run in families. The exact causes of alcohol abuse and alcoholism are often unknown. Alcohol abuse is more common at certain points in life. Males, college students, and people going through serious life events or trauma are more likely to abuse alcohol.
People who experience the following are also more likely to deal with their problems with alcohol:. This is dangerous because alcohol abuse can lead to alcoholism. This is because alcohol tolerance levels can gradually increase.
Some people start to drink more and more with each passing day. Diagnosing alcohol abuse can be subjective. Concerned family and friends often try and help the person realize their drinking is out of control, although they might not believe it. Your doctor may ask you about drinking habits and health history.
They may also use blood tests to assess your overall health, paying special attention to areas of the body most impacted by alcohol, including the brain and other parts of the nervous system, as well as the heart and liver. Many people with alcoholism continue to drink even when they develop health problems related to drinking. Loved ones sometimes notice a problem before the person does. Unless the person acknowledges that they have a problem, treatment will not be successful as the person will not take treatment seriously and most likely will not benefit from treatment offered.
Alcohol abuse can have short-term and long-term effects, such as alcohol poisoning, sexual dysfunction, and liver damage. The short-term and long-term effects of alcoholism include brain damage, cirrhosis, and an increased risk of heart disease. Alcohol withdrawal can be a medical emergency.
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